Essence

Mechanism of motherhood is an elaborate of a refined system that activates intrinsic talents and abilities unique to feminine aspect (the power of motherhood), and also shows us the path back home (the essence, being, source). The home, the essence, is the place from which all creation emerges – be it babies, art, projects, ideas, innovations – or any other form of (self)expression.

Being connected to the essence is something we all are by default, however, this connection might be blurred or covered by layers and layers of mind made concepts (thoughts, fears, personalities) – hence it might be difficult to feel it.

I want to talk how this essence feels like. At the beginning, I could only access it in meditation – the feeling was of abundance, warmth, tenderness – and a little bit of shyness. The space was suddenly filled with self-love. Then I noticed how the absence of the connection feels – dry, barren, automated. Strictness and roughness instead of self-love. And this was the feeling I was used to, the feeling I perceived as “normal”, everyday state.

When I became pregnant, the feeling of essence became more and more profound on its own. I decided to deliberately pursue it and cultivate the connection, feeling it more intensely in my body – coming from my ovaries and feeding into every cell inside out. What I found at the other end of this connection is that my essence – my being – has been waiting all this time to break through, waiting to be fully expressed in all of its wildness, strangeness, beauty and intelligence.

This is where the mechanism of motherhood comes from and leads back to. This is the most important relationship and the most sacred calling of every human being – to just BE.

I would like to finish by quoting G. Gurdjieff, as transcribed in the book by one of his most notable students, PD Ouspensky (In search of the miraculous):

In actual situation of humanity, there is nothing that points to evolution proceeding. On the contrary, when we compare humanity with a man, we quite clearly see a growth of personality at the cost of essence, that is, a growth of the artificial, unreal, and what is foreign, at the cost of natural, the real and what is in one's own. ere

Together with this we see a growth of automatism.

Contemporary culture requires automatons. And people are undoubtedly loosing their acquired habits of independence and turning into automatons, into parts of machines. It is impossible to say where is the end of this and where is the way out - or whether there is an end and a way out. 

One thing alone is certain, that man's slavery grows and increases. Man is becoming a willing slave. He no longer needs chains. He begins to grow fond of his slavery, to be proud of it. And this is the most terrible thing that can happen to a man.