When I was a child, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut. There was nothing more exciting then the thought of being able to explore all the mysteries hidden in the vastness of space and go beyond human experience. Although my life took off in a different direction, I still believe it will happen in the next lifetime.
Another childhood dream of mine that did become my reality was dancing. I danced for as long as I could remember. This impulse to dance never came from my thoughts, but rather from my body. As it was always here with me, so effortlessly and naturally, I didn’t bother for a long time to understand why is it that I dance.
Unfortunately, I was brought up in a culture that isn’t as supportive towards arts as it is towards “real” professions. I kept on balancing between dancing and “more serious” studies (finance) for as long as I could, however, once I got a high profile job in top tier strategy management consulting, dancing fell into the background. For two years I didn’t find the time to dance as there were “more important” things on my agenda.
What I didn’t notice at the time was how I was actually molding myself into this pre-determined corporate role, at the expense of my essential self. This dominant corporate persona was not who I really am – it was just a mere avatar that fits somebody else’s expectations. However, I started to identify with the role, accumulating anxiety around the “insecure overachiever” complex. I was exposed to chronic stress and overstimulated by adrenaline and cortisol. Exhausting my adrenal glands came with a price – I was diagnosed by Hashimoto thyroids & suffered from acute migraines.
Unfortunately these alarming signs my body was sending were not enough to wake me up. It took a more severe “shock” to pull me out of the identification loop. The pregnancy, although unexpected, came as a blessing. I was alone during my pregnancy, in the middle of the pandemic lockdown, what allowed me to immerse into a deep healing process. As I reconnected to my essential nature, I finally understood why it is that I dance.
I dance because dancing means to be myself. And to be myself means to be free.
It means to roam wild through life, reshaping your reality in accordance with your own unique imprint. It means to let go of expectations and judgement. It means to break free from socially acceptable roles and how things should be. It means to redefine your path. It means to do the things your way. It means to embrace fear and to bravely face the unknown. It means to listen to your intuition no matter what. It means to stand firmly in your own truth. It means to let go of all mind-made concepts. It means to stop taking life so seriously. It means to break free from ourselves.
It is my current path to explore different concepts of freedom and how they manifest in my life. I am at the beginning of this journey and it will make me very happy to share my adventures on this blog. Hence the series called “Chapters of freedom” – to share my truth while rediscovering the meaning of freedom and maybe even inspire you to do the same.
Unravel Ninja 