Freedom comes in many shapes and forms. It can be found in colors of the sunset, smell of the forest after the rain or sound of child’s laughter. It can be felt with your bare feet touching the Earth or while gazing at the stars. It can be pursued outside, however, it can only be found inside.
Freedom is a state of mind – a mind that is liberated from the grip of its conditioning. To arrive there means to understand there is nowhere to arrive. It takes many lifetimes, yet it happens in the split of a second. Several paths lead to freedom – the path of yoga, Buddhism, grace, devotion, loss and restoration…
Today I want to write about loss and restoration – and not just any, but those typical to “modern” woman – loss and restoration of her intuition and instinct.
Although the definitions of intuition vs instinct differ, both are deeply interconnected. Intuition is a deep, intrinsic knowledge without obvious deliberation. Instinct is a natural tendency to behave in a particular way. Both arise from the same place and both are languages through which the soul speaks to the mind.
If not nourished enough, both intuition and instinct can subside into deeper layers of our being, widening the gap between the ego (identity) and the self (essence). The wider the gap, the less are were in alignment with life. We may experience a series of unfortunate events, missteps or failures, all seemingly out of our control. On the other hand, if the ego is a vehicle of the self, we will be in alignment with the universe, effortlessly navigating this reality according to the soul input. Our ventures will flourish, as we will create and live with ease.
Two factors precede withdrawal of intuition and instinct – culture and conditioning. Our western culture is especially repressive to these intrinsic abilities. Analytical thinking is clearly favored to intuitive feeling, humans (and especially women) are required to adapt to linear measurement of time, contrary to their cyclical nature, and we are exposed daily to externalities harmful for our optimal mind-body balance. The mainstream life of “modern woman” is taking her further and further away from her wild, intrinsic nature, as it requires adaptation to predominantly masculine ways, in exchange for societal approval and acknowledgment. However, the main hardship to overcoming both cultural as well as personal obstacles to restoration of one’s intuition and instinct comes through our conditioning and subsequent refusal to face our fears.
Let me tell you a story of a young girl in her mid-20s. Still in her maiden archetype, she was still quite inexperienced and somewhat oblivious to the “dangers” of the real world. On top of that, she never received proper guidance nor had the opportunity to hear the wisdom of older, more experienced women – the system around her was just not set up that way. Her mother, as too many mothers today, was also oblivious to the same dangers – and she was never educated to understand her role in guiding her young. The sisterhood around her was still under a spell of rivalry, with women advised to perceive other women as their adversaries, rather then embrace them as sisters.
One day the girl was walking down the street and bumped into a tall, dark stranger. She thought nothing special of him, so she briefly mumbled the apology and continued her way. Next day, she was walking down the same street and bumped into the same guy again. This time she looked up, smiled to the coincidence but still continued her way, her mind being preoccupied with so many other things. The day after, she was again walking down the same street, except this time the stranger bumped into her. She stopped, looked up and felt a slight, trembling contraction in her gut. Before having time to acknowledge the feeling in her body, she got distracted by his hypnotizing words penetrating her mind. Third time is a charm. Can I buy you coffee?
Before she new it, they were already on a third date. She couldn’t quite read him yet, however, she thought it made him even more mysterious and attractive. That slight contraction in her gut was trembling faster, however, she mistakenly took it for excitement. He was persistent in courting her – showering her with attention, buying her presents and taking her to exciting weekend getaways. He was quite handsome and even more charming, and the sex was A-mazing. So with the first signs that something was off, she willingly decided to look into another direction – the direction of her hopeful expectations and the fairytale she always longed for. So what if he is a bit controlling? That just makes him more “manly”. So what if he is a bit coldish? I am sure I can help him open up to love.
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Slowly but surely, she was sinking deeper and before she knew it – she was in deep over her head. What started as “a bit controlling” and “a bit coldish” unraveled into total dominance and complete emotional detachment. He was taking over her life, feeding on her energy and preying on her low self-worth. She was stuck in the victim mentality, completely unable to escape his mind games. She deliberately decided to repress the feeling in her gut, over and over again, convincing herself things are going to get better, only if…
But only ifs never happen. Things never change – men like this never change. They are manipulators and predators, for whatever sad reasons. The reasons don’t matter – as our job is not to save but to evade them. The reasons don’t matter – as women find themselves in abusive relationships not because of the men, but because of their conditionings and ignorance of their intuitive guidance.
We co-create such situations as they force us to face our fears and release limited conditionings. If we are willing to do so, we set ourselves free. However, if we are unwilling to face our shadows, we might stay entrapped or repeat same bad choices over and over again – until we finally decide to let go.
The role of intuition and instinct in regaining our freedom from our deepest conditioning is essential. That is why I call it The Art of Listening to Yourself. If we vow to follow that subtle voice, always and forever, we can rest assured our actions are in line with our highest selves. This is the voice of the soul (essence) and it always there to guide us, no matter how loud the voice of the ego (identity). Unfortunately, most people run as automatons, making unconscious choices based on their conditionings. However, if we nurture The Art of Listening to Ourselves, we will bring more awareness to our life decisions, consciously directing our lives towards our highest realities.
And this is how the story ends – in a lesson on restoration of a women’s intuition and instincts. No matter how deep you sank, no matter how weak you are – it is always possible to restore our intuition and restore our lives. The instructions are simple – just listen to yourselves. Just do how you feel – how you really feel, deep inside. In order to discern between the voice of the ego (loud mind chatter around desires and aversions) and the voice of the soul (subtle, persistent feeling), remember this – intuition most often speaks through your body. It is that feeling in your gut, that knot in your throat, that pain in your hips. It is subtle but persistent. Sometimes it can come from outside of the body, but the rule is simple. If we go for it, it feels good. If we ignore it, it doesn’t feel good.
I have never met a woman who doesn’t hear the voice of the intuition. No matter how subtle, it is there. It is deeply engraved in your being from the moment you were born and will continue to be there long after you die. You can hear it, you just need to decide to follow it – and your intuition will grow stronger. However, to make that decision, even when the whole world seems against it, you need to trust. Trust yourself. Or more precisely – trust the divine guidance of your soul. The universe has your back. In the end, we are nothing but the universe experiencing itself. And through intuition we can tap into that alignment, we can tap into that space. We can tap into Freedom.
Unravel Ninja 