Java u snu
San prosle noci.
Um je zamrljan, tezak, opijen. Ne mogu se probuditi. Ne mogu se sjetiti.
Zaboravljam.
Borim se. Odupirem se tezini, obmani, gustoci, mulju.
Ne uspjevam. Iznova me povlaci prema dolje.
Znam da spavam ali ne mogu se probuditi.
San u javi
Um je odsutan, nemiran, opsesivan, povrsan. Program radi sto na sat: U pogonu sam. Doing, doing, doing. Sto je sljedece? Jos, jos, jos. Brzo, nema vremena za gubljenje.
Sjeti se sebe.
Ego zavarava, obmanjuje dobru namjeru. Progres je nezamjetan, dok mislim da radim, samo trosim, igram njegovu igru.
Vrag mi se smije. Dok mislis da se budis, sve dublje tones u san.
Dobra namjera se vazi.
Odustajem. Ne propitkujem. Uzimam zdravo za gotovo. Jednostavno je tako.
Obiteljsko prokletstvo je force majeure negativnog naboja i kruznog usmjerenja s teznjom prema dolje.
Sve imas vec u sebi.
Tko ce, ako ne ja?
Kad gle – u pozadini – to sam opet ja.
Opet ego nesto hoce, zeli, trazi, dobiva. Jos, jos, jos. Druga strana istog novcica, vrti me u krug.
Vrag se vise ne smije. Izlaz je sada.
Izadi iz vrtuljka (ne)srece. Pusti sve za sobom. Neka bude bilo sta. Neka bude nista.
Silovita rijeka tece kroz nas, a mi ne mozemo nista.
Disi.
A wakeful dream
My dream last night.
Mind is heavy, blackened, intoxicated. I cannot wake up. I cannot remember.
Forgetfulness.
I am fighting, resisting the heaviness, deceit, density, sludge.
I have failed. I am being pulled down back again.
I know I am asleep but I cannot awaken.
A dream of the wakefulness
Mind is absent, restless, obsessives, superficial. Program is on full capacity: I am in operation. Doing, doing, doing. What next? More, more, more. Fast, there is no time to waste.
Remember thyself.
Ego is deceiving, misguiding the good intention. Progress is imperceptible, I think I am advancing, but I am just wasting, playing its game.
Devil is laughing. You believe you are awaking, but you are falling deeper asleep.
Good intention counts.
I give up. Not questioning, taking everything for granted. It’s just how it is.
Family curse is force majeure of negative charge and circular direction with a downward pull.
Everything you need you have in you.
Who will do it, if not me?
When all of the sudden – in the background – it is me again.
Again the ego wants, desires, asks, gets. More, more more. The other side of the same coin, spinning me in circles.
Devil is not laughing. The exit is now.
Exit the wheel of (un)fortune. Let everything go. Let it be as it is and as it is not.
The force of the river flows through us, and there is nothing we can do.
Breathe.
Unravel Ninja 